Put some Windex on it!

Go ahead ringworm, make my big, fat, Greek day.

The only chic-flick that I’ll ever readily admit to watching (and enjoying) was “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”.  I only watched it because my dad said he’d seen it with my mom.  The look I subsequently handed him, forced a defense, “It was actually funny.”

OK, so now I’m intrigued and have license to watch it… my dad is a truck-drivin’, motorcycle-ridin’, muscle car ownin’, guitar-playin’, fix just about any broke thing, can beat up your dad kinda guy.  If he watched it and says it was funny, THAT’s license.  The intrigue:  what made him admit to watching and laughing?

So watch, and laugh, I did.  Understand this…I’m a white-bread, freckle-faced, curly-headed, American boy.  My wife comes from a East Coast, Sicilian family.  I identified and then some.  Example:  There was actually a point during our traditional, Italian-filled, Roman Catholic mass, wedding ceremony where my mom leaned in and whispered to me, “We don’t know what to do!”

My reply, “Either do I.”

That was 13 anniversaries, two houses, three kids and countless memories ago…like the time my father-in-law was experiencing (mild) anaphylactic shock from a (at the time, unknown) peanut allergy, and my mother-in-law gave him Pepto-Bismol and sent him to bed.  Pepto and Vaseline are here equivalent to the Gus Portokalos Windex remedy; they fix any ailment.

Windex. It’s one of the best threads of the movie.  As with my mom-in-law and her Pepto / Vaseline combo, the Windex-like, fix-all remedy exists in the halls of medicine of many families.  A Sampling:

Ailment:  Bald-headed Baby, “Internal Plumbing Lubrication”    

Cure:  Olive Oil (applied to surface area, or taken orally (You decide which method goes with which ailment!)

Ailment:  headache, minstrel cramps, minor pain, sinus congestion, seasonal allergies, rash, fever, etc.

Cure:  one of the pills in the bulk-sized aspirin bottle in the cupboard above the kitchen junk drawer.  What?  You can’t tell the difference between Midol and Benadryl?  You’ll just have to guess which pill does what. (Thanks mom!)

Ailment:  common cold, sore throat

Cure:  shot of tequila (white or gold – it’s your choice!)

Ailment:  ANYTHING that hurts, is broke, stuffed-up, itchy, bruised…

Cure:  Mentholatum (Tiger Balm if your from the Far East!)

Got one that tops these?

About Rob

robrights.com...where Rob writes and sometimes "rights the write" of other writers. View all posts by Rob

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